When the Gut Screams, but the Heart Is Starving: A Coaching Case Study for Leaders and Coaches
- Christoffel Sneijders
- 5 hours ago
- 8 min read
As coaches and leaders, we’ve all met someone like Alexandra: a high-achiever in her 40s, pouring their heart into their work, only to end up exhausted, unappreciated, and stuck. Maybe it’s a client, a team member, or even you. Alexandra’s story—a real coaching case (anonymised for privacy)—shows how the Three Brains Intelligence framework (head for logic, heart for connection, gut for instinct) can uncover the true driver of a crisis, from burnout to physical symptoms, and guide lasting change. For coaches, therapists, and leaders, this case study provides tools to identify misdiagnosed problems, address burnout, and foster alignment.
Drawing from the latest 3 Brains Intelligence development, we'll dive into the 12 Inner Protectors—those subconscious "bodyguards" that kept us safe as kids but can trap us as adults. They're not flaws; they're biology's way of ensuring belonging, success, and survival. Understanding them, as Alexandra did, turns exhaustion into empowerment.
The Crisis: A Body in Protest
“I can only eat six foods. If I try anything else, my throat closes, I can’t breathe, and I end up in the ER.”
That is what Alexandra shared in our first session. For five months, every attempt to expand her diet triggered terrifying reactions, landing her in the ER repeatedly. It began after a homoeopathic remedy meant to “stimulate her thyroid” went awry. She’d consulted seven therapists before, travelled to India for a week-long Ayurvedic program, and worked with a homoeopath. Theories ranged from a birth trauma (a thin umbilical cord and low birth weight) to past-life wounds to thyroid dysfunction. Yet nothing worked; you could actually say the contrary, it did not become worse.
Her gut seemed to be the culprit. Two near-burnouts in 2022 and 2023, plus another in 2024, pointed to adrenal collapse, with low cortisol levels confirming exhaustion. But as we explored her story using the Three Brains Intelligence framework, we uncovered a more profound truth: her gut wasn’t failing her—it was protecting a heart that had been depleted for years.
The Misdiagnosis Trap: Treating Smoke, Not Fire
Alexandra’s symptoms—food restrictions, ER visits, low energy—screamed “gut problem” or “thyroid issue.” The thyroid, a butterfly-shaped gland, regulates metabolism, mood, and digestion, so it’s often blamed when energy tanks or digestion falters. Cortisol, mislabeled as a “stress hormone,” is the body’s energy fuel. In early burnout, adrenals overproduce cortisol; in later stages, they crash, leaving the system depleted. Alexandra’s low cortisol looked like an adrenal issue, but it was the end result, not the cause.
This is a common trap in coaching and therapy:
Gut in crisis? Must be digestive.
Low cortisol? Must be adrenal.
No energy? Must be thyroid.
Treating symptoms without finding the source is like chasing smoke instead of the fire. Alexandra’s gut was the last soldier standing, carrying the burden of a heart starved of appreciation, purpose, and boundaries.
The 3 Brains Intelligence Framework: A New Lens
Since the 1990s, science has confirmed we have three “brains” with neural networks that learn, remember, and decide:
Head Brain: Logic, analysis, planning. It says, “This doesn’t make sense.”
Heart Brain: Emotions, values, connection. It says, “I can’t express my needs.”
Gut Brain: Instinct, action, self-preservation. It says, “I must push through.”
As Michael Gershon, author of The Second Brain, notes, the gut alone has 500 million neurons, processing survival decisions with precision—but it’s no Shakespeare when communicating. Each brain has a role, but upbringing and experiences shape which dominates our decisions. Over time, we develop Protectors—subconscious strategies (like limiting beliefs) that once kept us safe but now limit us. These aren’t “bad”; they’re biology’s attempt to protect us. But when they dominate, they rob us of agency, leaving us reacting to others’ demands.
The 3 Brains Dominance Test measures subconscious preferences on a 105-point scale, revealing how you habitually decide: head for certainty, heart for belonging, gut for survival. Alexandra’s results were revealing:
Head: 25
Heart: 59
Gut: 21
Her heart was overwhelmingly dominant, guiding her decisions through connection and care, explaining her strong push and pull to overgive.
Her 12 Protectors Test (scored 1–12) showed:
Caretaker: 11.2
Endurer: 11.2
Peacekeeper: 8.7
Approval-Seeker: 8.7
These scores painted a vivid picture: a heart craving appreciation and meaning, driven to overgive (Caretaker), push through (Endurer), and silence needs (Peacekeeper, Approval-Seeker). Her gut, meanwhile, was in survival mode, shutting down to signal a deeper misalignment.
Decoding Alexandra's Protectors: The Bodyguards That Bind
The 3 Brains Intelligence theory describes Protectors as "hidden drivers" grouped by brain: Head (certainty), Heart (belonging), Gut (survival). Alexandra's high heart-based ones (Caretaker, Approval-Seeker, Peacekeeper) and gut-based Endurer explained her burnout cycle. Here's a snapshot, with core beliefs from the manual:
Caretaker (Heart, 11.2): Over-empathising, absorbing others’ emotions to feel connected. Core Belief: "If I take care of others, I’ll be accepted and loved. If I don’t, I risk losing connection." Pitfall: Emotional exhaustion, blurred boundaries. Alexandra felt responsible for her team’s feelings, leading to her "hamster wheel" days.
Endurer (Gut, 11.2): 110% effort, non-stop action without pause. Core Belief: "If I keep going beyond limits, I’ll win, secure success, and survive. If I pause, I could fall behind or appear weak." Pitfall: Burnout from tying worth to achievement. This fueled Alexandra's impossible deadlines and low cortisol crash.
Peacekeeper (Heart, 8.7): Avoiding confrontation to maintain harmony. Core Belief: "If I avoid conflict, I’ll preserve harmony and connection. If I express truths, I could be rejected." Pitfall: Suppressing needs, letting problems fester. Alexandra stayed silent with her "dementor" boss to keep the peace.
Approval-Seeker (Heart, 8.7): Needing external validation to feel secure. Core Belief: "If others approve of me, I’ll feel included. If they don’t, I’ll be excluded or unvalued." Pitfall: Losing authenticity, chasing praise. Alexandra overworked for recognition that never came.
These Protectors, born from early imprints (like Alexandra's fragile birth fostering the Endurer), once ensured survival. But unchecked, they created her crisis: a heart giving endlessly, a gut overcompensating until collapse.
The Root: A Starving Heart
In our first session, Alexandra described a monotonous life: a corporate communications job she didn’t love, a “dementor” boss who piled on tasks, and a pattern of saying yes to everything. “I’m not following my heart at all—not in my job, not in my life,” she admitted. She stayed home, drained and disconnected from friends, despite having a supportive circle. Two near-burnouts had left her running on empty, with her gut stepping in to protect a heart that felt unseen.
We explored her Protectors’ origins. Alexandra recalled longing for her father’s attention, often overshadowed by a dominant younger sister. This birthed her Caretaker and Approval-Seeker: “If I please others, I’ll be enough.” Her Endurer likely stemmed from her fragile birth, learning to survive on little. These protectors, once lifesavers, now trapped her in a cycle of overgiving to a boss who didn’t value her and a job that didn’t spark joy.
The Breakthrough: Awareness and Action
By our second session, Alexandra’s body was shifting. She could tolerate 12 foods—double her previous limit—a sign her system was calming. But the real change was internal. Naming her heart’s dominance brought clarity: “I’m living for others, not me.” This awareness eased her fear and frustration, giving her a sense of direction.
We deepened this with a guided exercise. Alexandra imagined her father saying, “I see you. I’m sorry I didn’t give you more.” The tears were instant—a release of decades-old longing. This helped her see how her Caretaker and Approval-Seeker kept her stuck in a draining job. Her boss thrived on her inability to say no, exploiting her Endurer and Peacekeeper.
We explored practical steps to honour her heart:
Delegate Upwards: When overloaded, ask, “Which task is the priority?” This forces a gut-brain boss to clarify, shifting the burden back.
Set Small Boundaries: Take lunch breaks away from the desk, say no without guilt, and prioritise self-care.
Reframe Self-Talk: Instead of “My body’s betraying me,” try “My body’s protecting me.” This shifts the narrative from blame to gratitude.
Alexandra left lighter, empowered, and laughing at our closing with the conclusion, “Don’t give your kisses to the wrong people.” She understood: her energy belongs to those who value her, not those who drain her.
Three Months Later: A Glimpse of Progress
Three months after our sessions, Alexandra shared an update. She now eats more than 30 foods—a massive leap from six. More importantly, she’s exploring a side project aligned with her passion for inspiring others, something she hadn’t dared before. She’s also practising boundaries, like taking lunch breaks and pushing back on unrealistic deadlines. Her heart is starting to beat faster—not from fear, but from purpose. Her Protectors? Still there, but now she's distinguishing their voices: "Is this the Caretaker speaking, or my true values?"
Lessons for Coaches and Leaders
Alexandra’s journey offers tools for your work:
Look Beyond Symptoms: Gut issues or burnout often mask a heart craving connection. Use the Three Brains Dominance Test (105-point scale) to find the real driver—e.g., heart scores >50 signal belonging-driven decisions.
Burnout Is Emptiness: It’s not overwork—it’s working without appreciation or alignment. Help clients identify where their heart feels starved.
Decode Protectors: High Caretaker or Endurer scores show survival patterns. Ask: “Who did you learn to please? When did you start pushing through?” Use the manual's core beliefs to unpack them.
Listen for Brain Language:
“This doesn’t make sense” → Head Brain.
“I can’t say what I need” → Heart Brain.
“I must push through” → Gut Brain.
Prioritise Alignment: Stress hacks or diets are temporary solutions. Healing comes from nourishing the heart with purpose and boundaries. Teach clients to "discriminate" Protectors with questions like: "Is this effort fulfilling me, or proving I'm enough?"
A Leadership Example: The Gut-Brain Boss
To illustrate the Three Brains in action, consider a client I coached—a gut-brain-dominant CEO. His team complained of his abrupt emails and “win-or-lose” style, like Alexandra’s boss. In coaching, we used the 3 Brains Intelligence framework to identify his gut-driven language (“I can’t digest this plan”). By practising heart-brain communication (e.g., “How can we align on this?”), He built trust and reduced conflict. Coaches can use this to help leaders recognise their brain dominance and adapt their style—perhaps by identifying their own Endurer pushing too hard.
My Journey: From Rebel to Balance
As a heart-dominant coach with a high Rebel Protector (11.2), I’ve learned to set boundaries the hard way. Early in my career as a leadership trainer, while trying to prove myself, I overextended myself to clients while still being authentic and doing it my way (that is a Rebel strength and pitfall at the same time), just like Alexandra, I ran into Burnout, as you can not please everybody. Recognising my heart’s role helped me say no to toxic demands and yes to my purpose, ultimately leading to the start of my own business and an escape from toxic leadership. This drives my mission to share the 3 Brains Intelligence framework—it’s a game-changer for aligning lives.
Closing Thoughts
Alexandra thought her gut was broken. Experts pointed to her thyroid or adrenals. But the Three Brains framework revealed the truth: her gut was protecting a heart starved of purpose and appreciation. By naming her heart’s dominance, releasing old wounds, and distinguishing her Protectors' voices, she began to heal—body and soul.
As coaches and leaders, your job is to find the fire, not chase the smoke.
Ask: Which brain is driving this? What’s starving? What Protector is overprotecting? Take the Three Brains Dominance Test or the 12 Protectors Test on my website to start.
Let’s help ourselves and others live from alignment, not exhaustion.
Keep leading, keep coaching, keep listening to the heart. And don’t treat the smoke. Find the fire.
Christoffel MCC
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