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How Men & Women Fit


How to Better Understand your Partner

The book that will change all your relationships for the better, personal and business!

how men and women fit, finally understand your partner with the 3 brains theory

If I asked you how well you really understand someone else or are being understood , I wonder what you would score on a scale from 1-10? 

Honestly, higher or lower than an 8?

This book has all the ingredients to bring that to a 9 or 10! 

How MEN & WOMEN FIT, finally understand your partner with the 3 Brains theory © brings a revolutionary new way of looking at interpersonal relationships and how we as men and women can change our communication and social skills in any relationship we are in. And although it is called men and women it does not mean it stays in this context, as the theory just as easily applies to men and men, women and women, (wo)men and kids, and (wo)men and parents. 

The book will change all these relationships for the better, personal and business!


How many times have you been in conversation with a partner, loved one, family member, or friend, and felt that you just couldn’t get through to them? 

You both understood the words, but neither of you was hearing the other? Like your brain was turned off. It’s frustrating. Disappointing. And it happens all the time.

How many times, after a conflict or disagreement, have you felt that it would have been different if you knew then what you came to understand later?

Why is it so hard to have a happy, healthy relationship? 

You would think that cutting-edge science would not be needed to address this question. After millions of years of evolution and tens of thousands of human societies, you’d think we’d have worked out by now how to understand, and get along with, one another. Philosophers and poets might have some insights, and I don’t want to tread on their turf.

However, as a therapist, coach, and associate professor of the science of behavioral organizational leadership and communication, I wonder what we have unlearned across the years, or what have we learned that is not actually true?

Why do people say the things they do? How do some words excite our emotions and others turn them off?

What is the connection between that gut-wrenching or passionate feeling in our hearts, and our communication and interactions? And how can science have proven we react to stimuli seconds before we are consciously aware of them? Who is in charge inside us?

This book will provide you the insight, answers, and solutions! It is built around crucial new insights into the science of human thinking in an easy way to understand and with clear solutions. 

Current research has upended the notion that we have in our heads a single powerful mind that is home to our thoughts, emotions, and reactions. In fact, science now tells us that we have not one, but three centers of thought and memory! Each one perceives, interprets, and reacts to the world in a distinctly different way.

In addition to our well-known ‘thinking’ brain (which we will call the ‘Head Brain’), we have a ‘feeling’ brain (which we will call our ‘Heart Brain’) and a third brain — at our core — whose job it is to keep us safe. We will call this ‘self-preservation’ brain the ‘Gut Brain’.

You will discover how our 3 brains determine your and yours partners life, how they are in charge of our emotions, decisions, communication, listening skills and how we handle conflicts. So actually, how successful, meaningful, and happy/healthy all of your relationships are.

We can all learn what our preference is, and also recognize which is our partner's, friend's, colleague's or manager's dominant brain.

The beauty is we can educate our 3 Brains, they are not set in stone. My promise: Happy Healthy Relationships are possible

Christoffel Sneijders

Book reviews

What people said about the book:

Kris Borgaeve: The book gives a deep insight in how our brain(s) interact and store life experiences. Beyond the promise that is contained in the book’s title, I love the nuggets of insight because they help you understand yourself, and virtually anyone you connect with. Well written, spiced with catchy anecdotes and plenty of references.


Stuart Padley: It's not just another self help book.  It's special.​

Margaret Lawlor: Your book is fantastic Christoffel and would highly recommend and really enjoying my advanced training in clinical hypnosis you are so full of amazing insight and knowledge

Michelle Vos-Castle: Love it Really interesting Read in one sitting Like the mix of you and science Is light but interesting

Mª Teresa Alonso Jaén Owner & Founder of TLeadGo: This book is a great guideline to build emotional connection and happiness.

It brings a different perspective regarding gender differences and relationships, applicable not only to loving relationships but to family, business and friends’ relationships.

It really breaks up the stereotypical thinking, so much needed to navigate with the speed of change in our current environment.  

We really need more than ever, to support and complete each other, embrace diversity, have an open heart, connected mind and feel centered.

Leadership is all about being in coherence in the way we think, feel  and act, which has a direct impact on the way we relate to others.

By understanding how our three brains work, we understand ourselves and the ones around us is a better way and contribute to have healthier relationships, a healthier society.

Thank you Christoffel for your contribution to make the world a better place to live. 

Highly recommended reading!

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