Coached to Flourish, Not to Fit In: What Edison’s Mother Knew About Neurodivergence, Coaching, and the 3 Brains

Christoffel Sneijders
May 11
4 min read

Black-and-white portrait of Thomas Edison in a formal suit, looking calmly at the camera. Beside him, a quote reads: “My mother was the making of me. She was so true and so sure of me, I felt that I had someone to live for – someone I must not disappoint. The memory of my mother will always be a blessing to me.” – Thomas A. Edison.

In a world that praises brilliance only when it comes neatly packaged in conventional success stories, there’s one tale that refuses to fade.

You’ve probably heard it—perhaps even told it yourself. The story of a boy who struggled in school, whose teachers called him "slow," and whose mother chose to tell him a different truth. That boy? Thomas Edison.

Legend has it that Edison came home from school one day with a sealed letter. His mother opened it, read silently, and then said to him:

“Your teachers say you are too smart for their school and they don’t have the tools to teach you. I will teach you myself.”

Years later, after she had passed and Edison had become one of the most prolific inventors in history, he reportedly found the letter. What it actually said was:

“Your son is mentally ill. He cannot be taught in this institution.”

Whether this story is mythologised or based in literal truth doesn’t matter as much as what it represents.

A mother who refused to accept a label.

A child who was seen for what he could become, not what he appeared to be.

And in this, we find a lesson for every coach, leader, teacher, or mentor today: Are we coaching people to flourish… or to fit in?

Coaching Blind Spots: What Labels Hide

In our upcoming International Coaching Week 2025 workshop, "Are You Missing This Coaching Blind Spot?" we will explore a truth many coaches overlook: the unspoken presence of neurodivergence.

Your client might be ADHD and undiagnosed. Or dyslexic and masking it. They might process emotions deeply (heart brain) but struggle to express them. They might be highly intuitive (gut brain) but get stuck in overthinking (head brain).

You see someone who’s “resistant,” “unfocused,” “too emotional,” or “not motivated.” But under the surface? Their nervous system is doing its job. It’s trying to survive, to protect, to make sense of the world.

Labels don’t reveal this. Coaching presence does.

What Edison's Story Has to Do with the 3 Brains

Thanks to neuroscience, we now understand what Edison’s mother intuitively knew: not all intelligence lives in the head.

Our 3 Brains Intelligence model shows us that each person is guided by three interlinked but independently functioning “brains”:

🧠 Head Brain: logic, analysis, strategy.

❤️ Heart Brain: emotions, connection, values.

🌱 Gut Brain: instinct, courage, action.

Every client who walks into your session is a unique constellation of these three centres. And often, one of them is dominating—because it had to for survival.

Edison? Almost certainly a strong Head Brain: systems thinker, inventor, pattern-seeker. However, probably due to the unstoppable love and trust in a passionate Heart Brain. And a relentless Gut Brain that drove him to keep going despite setback after setback.

As a coach, would you have seen that? Or would you have tried to make him sit still, fit in, and follow the norm?

The Power of the Coach's Belief

Edison’s mother may not have had a neuroscience background or a coaching training certificate. But she did have a belief. She believed in her son’s potential—even when the system didn’t. And that belief? It shaped his identity, built trust, and gave him space to thrive.

This is what coaching is meant to do.

When a client hears “you’re broken,” their head brain creates limiting beliefs. When they feel judged, their heart brain stores it as emotional rejection. When they sense they don’t belong, their gut brain goes into protection mode—fight, flight, or freeze.

But when they feel safe, accepted, and challenged in the right way?

That’s when all three brains align—and real change becomes possible.

What If Edison Had Been Coached to Fit In?

Let’s be honest: Edison wouldn’t have thrived in many classrooms - or coaching sessions —today, either.

Imagine telling him to stop fidgeting, stop questioning, and follow the goal-setting worksheet.

Imagine coaching him to “slow down and stay focused”—when his brilliance was in rapid-fire curiosity.

Imagine labelling his frustration as emotional immaturity—when really, his Heart brain was just never taught how to feel safe by the environment, but luckily was compensated by his mum.

When we coach to fit a model—especially a neurotypical, linear one—we risk doing more harm than good. We silence potential in the name of structure. We suppress uniqueness in the name of progress.

Edison wasn’t built to fit in. He was built to change everything.

And so are many of your clients.

What Edison’s Story Teaches Us Today

Not every client needs a diagnosis. But every client deserves to be seen for who they are, not who we expect them to be.

The next time a client seems stuck, resistant, or “too much,” ask yourself:

Which brain might be speaking loudest right now?
Is their head brain saying “yes,” but their heart or gut brain saying “no”?
Am I coaching them toward someone else’s version of success, or their own?

And perhaps most importantly:

What would shift if I chose to believe in them fully, even when they don't believe in themselves yet?

You Are the Letter They Carry

Every client arrives with an invisible envelope.

Inside it might be praise, pain, shame, hope, neurodivergence, brilliance, or burnout. They don’t show it to you right away. But they hand it to you—in their language, their energy, their fear, their dreams.

And like Edison’s mother, you have a choice:

Will you read the label they were given… or speak the truth they need to hear?

Final Thoughts: Coaching for Wholeness

In 3 Brains Intelligence coaching, we don’t aim to fix the head, heal the heart, or discipline the gut. We aim to integrate them.

We believe that dominant brains are survival wisdom—not flaws. That every overused instinct or emotion was once a necessary adaptation. And that real transformation begins when a client feels safe enough to reconnect with their whole self.

So let’s coach like Edison’s mother did.

Let’s believe in what’s possible. Let’s coach people to flourish—not to fit in. Let’s become the turning point in someone’s story.